Ayaaa

While you youths of today were at the beach yesterday in the beautiful weather, guess where I was. Yeah. Work. 8.30 in the morning I staggered through the door into bayswater waves cafe to be greeted by a large number of customers, with their annoying habits and interesting quirks I was in for one rough day. Here's how it went.

9.00: I get the order to clean the walk in fridge. So I open the door, to find no space what so ever. Four pillars of chip boxes loom over me, alongside the two pillars of milk crates. Apparently I was supposed to unpack everything, restock the fridges and what not but I got bored of that and decided to leave it for someone else.
9.10: Here's where I start to pull myself together, a poorly made coffee (made by me) provides a small amount of energy and I resume normal thought.
Normal thought being one thing.


Girls in bikinis of course. The only good side of my job. I scan the area with my hawk like vision, capable of picking out sexy ladies on the other side of the building. The findings were less than impressive. A grand total of zero sexy babes. Naturally I sulked for a while serving customers with a snappy attitude.
9.20: Raging homosexual Man 1: "Can I have a golden gaytime"
Me: "You'd like that wouldn't you"
To which the man responded by staring me down like a dog.
9.45: Customer after customer after customer.
10:00: Here's where fat chick who's name I don't know enters the fray. She's been working here for a week and she's not quite what you need in the cafe industry. I'm used to being able to fit through the space behind the counter left open by slim, fairly attractive girls but with Fatchick I end up rubbing against her pudge which leaves me feeling somewhat grossed out.
10:30 It's starting to get busy
11:00 Still busy
12:00 Annnnd the line is now outside the door. My natural response to this overwhelming dilemma was to grab a slushy. Which I did.
1:00 The line has now consistently been out of the door for the last hour and customers look displeased by it all.
2:00 Kid One, who's sole purpose in life is to annoy me gets to the front of the counter.
"Can I have a lolly bag" He asks in a harmless manner, leaving me unknowing of his evil mastermind plan of wasting my time. He hands me a 5 dollar note to which I give him $4.50 change. "Can I have a sour straps bag" I look down at him wondering why it didn't ask for it with the bag of lollies, non the less I give him the bag and his $3.50 change. "Can I have a zappo" is his immediate response. Some rather unimaginative thoughts run through my head as I look at the massive line waiting to be served and then reluctantly I give the kid a packet of zappo's, $2.50 change and the fiercest glare I could without alerting other customers of my child abusive thoughts.
He stares me right down. "What can I get for $2.50"
"I don't know more lollies?" I snap back
"I'll get another packet of lollies"
"Why not get four packets of lollies" I reply
"No just one." He get's his packet. He get's $2.00 change. Then he runs off. I thank god for getting rid of him and serve some other low life customer.

3:33ish It's still ridiculously busy but now I'm serving a reasonably attractive young female.
The first one of the day. For some reason though, life was not willing to give me a break and it provides quite a spectacle. I'm asking her what ice cream she wants and I shit you not the mother of all cockroaches buzzes around before landing on my pants. "Holy shit a flying cockroach" I squeal in the manliest possible way before launching into a monster of a punch. The punch did it's job, obliterating the cockroach, however due to the unfortunate
positioning of the cockroach punching it meant punching my family jewels. This was awarded with a roar of laughter from at least 20 different people who witnessed the event, including the girl I was serving who giggled hysterically. I sucked up the pain and got on with serving her.

A cockroach 1/10th the size of the one that landed on me, which had
lazer vision, massive fangs and breathed fire.

4:00: At this point I realise I'm never going home. The line has been out of the door for too long. It's a ginormous line, there's mess everywhere and it showed no signs of changing. I awarded myself another slushy and slowly, grouchily served some more customers.

4:30 Fatchick has being rubbing against me all day "Trying to get past" and it's really disturbing.

6:00: I watch as the two people who came in after me leave. One came in at 11:30, the other 12:00, I've been here since 8.30! How come they get to go home!

7:00 11 hours after I started my shift I finally can go home. Exhausted from punching myself, dealing with fat chick and serving customers I zombie walk home where I was welcomed with a computer science assignment, modern history assignment and an economics assignment which all need to be done by Friday, as well as the nagging feeling I should be studying for the two accounting tests coming up this week. I handled the situation well though by putting all of it off and watching football.