A short essay. (I'm kidding, its not an essay, or short)

Thanks to various occurrences I didn't update for a brief amount of time. This means that writable things piled up and now we have a post nearly the size of the bible. If your bored (you probably are) have a read and if your not just read the bits that interest you. Lets Begin.

Thursday was good day. Work at 11. I know what your thinking, "Why's he think work's good?" I'll explain. It was me and Courtney for five hours. My boss went to do her Visa leaving us two to muck about. We ate our weight in chips and did a grand total of 0 work. Well, we did serve customers but that's not hard." When you look at it we got payed 10 dollars an hour to sit around, eating her food and talking. Good day. Especially when Courtney was having a fight with her boyfriend over the phone. I was laughing the entire time. Her guy was pissed that she was talking to me, they argued and then Courtney unleashed the motherload of sentences.
"Fuck you, shit cock, fucker, I dont want to fucking talk to you again, you cunt."
At which point I shit bricks and bolt. I served some customers while she cooled down.
In that space of time she'd gotten back together. Ahwell. It was still funny.

Friday was a Lazy day, watched Seinfeld and then went to Bryn's for a poker night. $10 buy in for each game but using my poker ability I won the first game, bringing me $50 (30 profit after you take away buy ins.) The second round was won buy a stylish Jono who learned his lesson after coming last the previous game. After poker we went to the near by school and what do you do at three in the morning in a deserted school? You play team hide and seek. Surprisingly enough it was hugely entertaining. After some great hiding spots, on the roof and down the side me and Quin were it. We turn the corner to start counting and there's a security guard driving in the school straight towards us. In one fluent movement we turn around, jump down the limestone stairs and bolt screaming out "Security, Runnn." Me and Quin went over a fence and down the side of a building. Squeezing our way past whiteboards, desks, the fence on the left and the wall on the right we come to a gate.

I jump over which proved to be a terrible decision. Here I am on one side of the gate, Quins on the other side and the security guard comes out of nowhere. I'm cornered with the only way out being over the gate, I knew for a fact I wouldn't be able to make it over quick enough to beat the security guard grabbing me. He grabs my arm and takes me to the path telling me to sit down. He looked pretty fat but I figured I could talk my way out of the situation as opposed to running. So here I am sitting on the ground at three in the morning being watched by two security guards. Quin's nearby lying down, unseen, trying desperatly not to be caught, the security guard shone the light on him but was so blind he didn't see him. At this point Alex walks casually across the road into Bryn's.
"That your friend" The security guy asks.
"What where, I can't see him," I lie, pretending not to see him.
After about ten minutes of waiting for the cops to arrive the security guards seem to like me and begin small talk.
"So I was at McDonald's the other day and I ordered a Chicken Burger, you know something light, I drive down the road to eat and he's given me a Big Mac," One of them says to the other.
I'm just sitting there thinking what a funny conversation to be hearing from security guards apprehending me.
"The McDonald's with the Indians right? They're useless." The other guard replies.
At this point we get the cunning Jono and Mat deciding that they want to see what going on, they peer their little heads out from Bryn's fence, the security guards see them and one of them goes to investigate.
Some 20 minutes later the coppers finally get here. The woman and the two security guards go to have a look at the 'damage' we'd done. The other cop asks me routine questions.
What were you doing? Playing Hide and Seek.
Ever been in trouble before? Nah.
And so on.

When the other cop gets to me she is a real bitch. The other three were friendly but this woman god she didn't like me. She asks me the same questions the other cop asked but with more anger and snappiness. Seeing that there were no damages (because we hadn't done anything.) The cops march me up to where they'd seen Mat and Jono's head and knock on the door. Bryn answers and was told to get his Dad. The bitch comes inside and gives us all a stern talking to.
"You wasted our time here, bla bla bla," Then leaves.
Bryn's dad awards us with a round of head slaps. I then realise Quins not there.
Apparently he'd ran to hungry spot and asked to use their phone, they charged him 50 cents but he didn't have any money. So he waits until someone comes in and asks them for 50 cents to use the phone. Sometime later he gets back to Bryn's and we have a good laugh about it.

Saturday slept and went to Alex's.

*This paragraph may be considered as boring*
Sunday I was a new man. Prior to my shitty behaviour towards my parents a few weeks ago I was in for five grand towards a car, them paying for my driving lessons and them paying for my Malaysia trip. They said that if I want that stuff to be happening I've got to pick up my grades. Fair enough. So Sunday I made like a good boy and changed for the better. Fully cleaned out my room, under the bed, drawers, washed the floor, walls and windows, made my bed. It looks quite good now. Then I studied. You may not believe me but I studied. I'm hoping to make it a regular thing. If I can do no work and get c's then with some effort I should be able to get at least B's. With Tonga as my inspiration I can't fail.

Monday, Today: Continuing on from the day above I studied some more, posted this looooong post and watched season 2 of Seinfeld. As sad as it may be the highlight of the day was going man vs machine against my X-box 360.
For the last 6 months its been a waste of space, sitting there not working so I took it round back and I finished if off.

My Xbox after 42 blows with a hammer.


Some more hammer hits.



After breaking through the versatile plastic skin I got to the shinny metal bit.


Hammer and Chisel, the hero's of the day.



As far as I could go. Physically Impossible to break more.

Eventually I got bored. I'm not kidding xbox's are tough opponents. Took me a good half hour to break the plastic skin. I was hitting it with a golf club, baseball bat, I was even sawing it but eventually I came across a Mallet which did the job nicely. Pounding away at it for another half hour I eventually got a point where I could go no further. Nothing would budge, I couldn't get any of the fancy bits out they were held in there.

Lastly, I have a few words on the cricket. England are dumb cunts. They should have made us follow on so they could win. Now we have a chance, 5 wickets to go, 200 or so runs needed and a full days play. We can draw, we can even possibly win. Good night of cricket tonight. By the way anyone who actually read all that, give yourself a pat on the back your a champ. I didn't even read all of it, thats why the spelling mistakes are plentyfull.

Lastly I need your oppinion on something.
Would you be interested in me twittering shit.
Like this guy Bumble. He's the funniest commentator that has graced the land of cricket. I'm just thinking I could twitter sporting events and similar things. Its just a good way to get conversation going when we're watching sport. Vote in the Side bar --->